Melissa's story...

By now you've read Laura's blog post (if not go read it! We decided separate posts were the way to go this time!) and are completely up to date on what's been going on in our lives these past few weeks. I must say they have been quite the adventure. I would liken it to that of a roller coaster, there have been highs and lows and times when I have felt like I'd been thrown upside down. But, this roller coaster ride has already taught me many lessons.

First of all, even though I am a self-admitted directionally challenged person and am useless when it comes to reading or deciphering maps, I did manage to take the right bus to and from work the first day! I did a mini 'hallelujah' dance in my mind that morning - at least I got off to a good start! I have not ventured off those two bus routes, and probably won't, but at least I can proudly say that I know enough to get myself to point A and point B (and that's saying a lot if you've ever traveled or driven with me...!)

Laura mentioned feeling guilty. That seems to be a common sentiment among us. I have struggled with feeling guilty too - how could I not? I got a job, got to move out and get an apartment, everything we'd both been wanting and striving for since we graduated. It's hard dealing with conflicting emotions; how do I feel happy for myself, while guilty for having it all happen? Laura wasn't being given this opportunity - why did I deserve it over her? This is a very real and honest emotion that I know we both grapple with. I'm not sure either of us will ever be able to rid ourselves of that dichotomous feeling, but learning to deal with and live with it is a necessary step. In time I'll realize why this was 'my' time, but at this point, it's hard not to ask, 'why me'?

I've also learned that I need to keep myself busy. I didn't really know what it was going to be like living alone or how I'd spend my time, as I'd always had Laura to do things with. Being alone for the first time was a big shock. The first few days coming home from work, I didn't know what to do. This must sound weird, but it was just a strange realization that I had no built-in person to talk to. Watching favourite TV shows and reading (Harry Potter - coming along nicely!) have become my main go-to past-times. But it's just not the same as having the confidante right there with me. I know it's going to take some time to adjust to this new reality, but for now it's still sinking in and I'm still figuring out this whole living alone and apart thing. I have my moments, but that's expected. (SIDE NOTE: Tim's couldn't have had a better time for their $1 cafe mocha special - these delicious warm drinks have become my new secret best friend when I need a little pick-me-up!) All in all, it's been and continues to be a challenge, but we have to both look at it as an adventure that was bound to happen.

I know there's so much information out there about twins and people are so fascinated by 'twin relationships', but I think there's a bit of a gap in hearing about stories of challenges twins face. Although every relationship is different, there must be a some sort of commonality among experiences of 'the separation' phase. Who knows, maybe there isn't. In any case, hopefully reading about our experience doesn't sound to sappy but gives you a unique glimpse into the emotional and personal dimensions of 'our' twin bond.

Anyways, enough said....I don't want this to get boring and all sentimental. I hope our stories haven't made it out to be a horrible experience, or one we are struggling to deal with. We're getting by just fine! Of course we'd rather be together, but that'll come. We don't know how long this whole living apart thing will last (fingers crossed Laura will get a job in Ottawa soon - I'm putting in a good word!) but either way, whether it's two weeks or two months, it's an ongoing learning experience. We've been all about adventure this past year with our 'Drive to 25', so how fitting  for a job opportunity to come along at this time. Everything happens for a reason right...let's make it count!

Living Apart...

Hey everyone!

This post is kind of long overdue... but we must admit that things have been very busy and new in our lives lately!

First things first - we have our next adventure to add to our 'List'... we are living separately. It has been one week now, well more like 10 days that we have been apart and it feels EXTREMELY strange. It is so hard to describe, but it's just a unique situation and no one can really know how it feels unless you're a twin. Of course, things are fine, we're surviving and getting through it. We obviously knew that one day this would happen and that we wouldn't always live together - we do both want to have our individual lives and families in the future!! But, this separation and move came so quickly that we didn't have a ton of time to prepare for it. Who knows, maybe that's a good thing!

Here's how it happened:

Melissa got a job in Ottawa working for Citizenship and Immigration Canada. Basically, after going through interviews and tests starting in February, she finally got an email at the end of September asking her if she was interested in a position. Of course, she couldn't turn it down! So, in the midst of a family wedding, visitors and a crazy, busy household for about a week, she had to finalize an apartment, pack and then, move to Ottawa. Since I work part-time retail, and didn't have a job in Ottawa, it didn't make sense to move there too. I didn't want to follow and just go without any sort of income just to be there as well. So, with that decision, we ended up having to separate. And now, we're over a week in.

That's how it happened and how do we both feel about it? Well, that's a toughy. It was a rough drive home from Ottawa for me... I stayed an extra 2 nights and left Tuesday - which was nice to spend the extra couple days together, just the two of us, helping to set up the apartment and make it a little more cozy/homey (and also be the designated cable/internet person!).  But, that drive home alone was just that, lonely and quite teary. But, I knew this was a huge step for the two of us and that we would both get through it. I was so happy for Melissa to be starting a new job, a career job, with the government - what a proud sister I was! Even prouder maybe, that she managed to get on the right bus and make it there on her first day!! But on top of that, I was upset and sad for Melissa, knowing that she would get home from work every night and be alone. You see, we both didn't really know what it was like to be alone - that's what we'll admit to be one of the best things about being a twin - we never had to be alone. Until now - and it was hard at first. I was guilty leaving her behind as I was leaving her alone somewhere new, yet I was going back to somewhere familiar. Anyways, the amazing thing about cell phones is that we can easily communicate throughout the day and text or call whenever we want. This makes the separation that much easier! And for all of those people who thought we'd never get cell phones - well we're happy we did and use them non-stop now! Obviously, I have my moments...Just the other night driving home from work in the evening I was thinking to myself, I wish Melissa would be there when I got home to watch our nightly tv shows with... but she wasn't. It's moments like those that make you appreciate more the time that you do spend, in person, with someone, although texting is great, their presence is irreplacable. But, that's life, that's separation and that's a lesson that we're both really learning right now! This was bound to happen at some point and I know I'm proud of us both!

So, this is the next item on our 'List'. Unfortunately though, it feels like we've somewhat hit a 'road block' on our Drive as we haven't written in so long. We're sorry about this! We will be posting really soon about this 'road block' and detailing our next steps... so stay tuned! We're getting back on track now and are ready!